The word Positive Parenting has two aspects Positive & Parenting. Lets understand these two aspects its about being positive followed by parenting
Being positive :–
Deep down every one is optimistic,trusting & loveful beings but due to certain impressions at times this positivity would have got masked henceforth being positive requires little effort.
Parenting:-It refers to the aspect of raising a child aside from the biological relationship..It also means the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood,well when the word “Parenting” is uttered what is that strikes to our mind ??to majority of us is that it means “Responsibility” So what is responsibility to majority of us?we generally think that responsibility means about doing things or tasks, when simplified the word Responsibility means it is the ability to respond rather react & much important than that is the “State of Being” ie;our state of mind & our behaviour in the process of doing things.So Responsibility of Parent is primarily the state of being first later is doing things ,which many of us do not pay much attention to “State of Being” rather we concentrate only on doing things.
THE KEY IN POSITIVE PARENTING:-The first & the foremost thing is “Acceptance of the Child as It is”,because in the intial process of parenting we would have labelled the Child as “My Kid” & series of expectations follow this like he/she is my daughter/son should be like this &shouldn’t be like this we forget that the child is a unique individual having its own existence & qualities.We need to remember that every individual is unique in his/her own ways ,in this context we need to remember Khalil Gibran’s saying that “Children are through you & not from you”.
BEFORE PREACHING THE KIDS ABOUT DONT’S LETS PRACTICE OURSELVES FIRST THE IMPORTANT DONT’S:-
1)DONT CRITICIZE THE CHILD:-Criticism is totally disempowering the child & never a positive energy it is a deep negative energy but we have been with our belief system that to criticize is to correct the child which is not at all right.Many times it has also been substantiated by the terminology of positive criticism there is nothing like postive criticism as to criticize itself is disempowerment.
2)DONT COMPARE KIDS:-Comparision is the worst thing that can happen during childhood in majority of instances comparision is drawn in relation with the academic performance of the child as each child is unique with his/her capabilities or potentialities we need to keep an open mind to identify those talents & capabilities in child.
3)DONT PUNISH THE CHILD:-Its again a deeply engrained belief system that by punishing the child discipline can be brought or reformation can happen which is totally false infact punishment has a greater negative impact on child’s mind we need to discipline the child by separating the act from the child & make it clear that its the act that is wrong & not the child is wrong.
4)DO NOT INSTILL FEAR IN THE CHILD:-In order to control the child we instill fear which is very detrimental in child’s development & in later stage of life when the child fears we advise to be courageous which is ridiculous because its we who instilled fear in order to control.
Finally we need to remember that children dont just learn from what we preach about Do’s &Dont’s but behaviour of Parents & Teachers has greater impact on children ,so its what we do & how we do is what children learn from us ,henceforth Parents & Teachers owe a higher responsibilty in moulding kids with right environment & their right behaviour.
Our Mantra has to Be & Make lets be & then make by which vibrations has a greater impact on the younger minds for healthy transformation to receive what we teach.
CHILDREN CAN BE OUR GREATEST TEACHERS!:-Last but not least we can remember one of the beautiful quotes by Bryan MCGill as Children can be our greatest teachers if we are open & humble enough to receive the lessons from them.