I must confess that the term ‘sister in law ‘ never fascinated me. All through my life I have been a people’s person, making friends as I traversed from one stage of life to another, there were the “chaddi buddies”, then there were the “school cronies”, then came the “college cronies “ and next were the “office colleagues”. To summarize there was no dearth of friends who surrounded me at every juncture, occasion of life.
Confidante for Life
At home I had the ‘brother’, who was a close buddy all through the growing years, sharing all important and mundane things like the flunked math test, the first crush (mine and his too), the doctored report card shown to the strict disciplinarian father, the nervousness before the first ‘board exam’, the anxiety preceding the ‘ big interview’. The brother was a sort of best friend, a ‘bestie’ in today’s terminology. So despite having so many other friends the ‘bestie’ back home was the preferred one as he was the punching bag, the confidante, the cheerleader.
A Twist in the tale
So now, there was the other woman who would enter his domain and what about me, poor me, I would be regaled to the sidelines!!! Now my brother had no time for us, so was this going to be a power struggle, two women fighting for the attention of a single man! Was I over expecting? The situation was funny, I no longer had the privilege of getting that new designer dress, the priority of being taken for a concert, impecunious me felt sidelined.But I was proved wrong and soon the woman who was the object of my misgivings, apprehension became my best buddy. As days slipped into months, months into years, we went on to become best buddies, getting close to her revealed that she also went through a gamut of emotions which included fears of being left out, ridiculed or dominated in the initial days. In a short time, we were Soul Sisters planning our beauty routines together, shopping for that cherished “Paithani”, helping each other in the childbearing days, the list was endless. The sensibly bought woman eliminated any sense of threat, insecurity and in fact further augmented and cemented that already beautiful relationship I shared I with my brother.
The marriage soon found me on the other side of the fence. Insecurities like is my husband too close to his sister started cropping like little purple devils in my thought clouds, threatening to burst any moment. My husband and his sister had long-standing habits which involved their love for reading classics, their culinary expertise honed by practice when their mother was touring the country for work, their love for Mozart and last but not the least their shared passion for football. Classics and me were unthinkable, I devoured Tintin and Archie comics, and skimmed the pages of the latest issues of FEMINA, SAVY and fashion magazines like GQ and Vogue. Stepping into the kitchen was an avertible chore right through my youth, my career as a fashion designer and stylist left me with time only to whet my skills in boiling a cup of tea or maximum an egg, my chapattis resembled the map of India regards their shape. Coming to Mozart I had never ever heard of him as I never appreciated anyone else than our very own musical great, A.R.Rehman but wait, there was one thing common I too was gung-ho about football. Alas here too there was a MAJOR difference I supported Chelsea and they were big time Arsenal fans.I was extremely insecure and you could hmmm…say jealous of their connection!!
Talk about being second time lucky. As my husband’s sister, my sister-in-law never felt I was a threat to their relationship, she appreciated my cooking skills which were getting better as I was a perfectionist, I referred to several blogs and concocted to perfection recipes which suited my new family’s taste buds. The house resounded with songs from my favorite movies like ‘Roza’, ‘Khamoshi’. Subscriptions to magazines were taken up and Chelsea matches and support talk were tolerated.
It was pure happenstance that I got lucky in both my relations, in fact where my husband’s sister is concerned, we gang up against my husband, alienating him with our whispering and giggling.
“You can’t give up on someone because the situation’s not ideal.
Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems.
They are great because both people care about the other person to
Find a way to make it work “.
It is your approach and attitude towards any relationship that matters. Friends become more important with age even trouncing family relationships according to a new research by a Michigan State University scholar; but I say sometimes you get plain lucky you and have to look no further, you might find your soul mate or soul sister mate right in the precincts of your home. If friendships become more important as you age then why not befriend your own Sister In Law?