It was a lazy Sunday morning. I was trying to open my eyes, but my eyelids were too heavy for me to lift in one go. Taking the advantage of my heavy eyelids, I stayed in the bed for some more time. In next few moments, I felt the rapid vibrations of my cell phone. I suddenly felt the keenness in my eyelids. With all the energy, they stood up and my hand went straight to the cellphone. It was Saumya, my dear friend. I picked up the call and waited few moments for her to speak first.
Saumya – ‘Hey get up. It’s already ten in the morning.’
Me – ‘Are we meeting today? I can book movie tickets for us if that’s the plan’
Saumya – ‘Yeah, I am going to take you to a new coffee shop. Let’s sit there for some time and then decide the next plan.’
Me – ‘I want to watch a movie. Last week too you canceled the plan and made me hear your love story. I am coming to your place in some time. Let’s then go out’.
Saying this, I hung up the phone. I got up from the bed, cleaned my room, got ready, had my breakfast and left the house. As I reached her building, I called her to ask her to come down and in next few moments, I saw her coming from her parking. I got her in and drove to the nearest coffee shop. I chose the corner table and we settled there. She picked up the menu card and ordered our favorite coffee.
‘So, what’s today’s story?’ , I asked her sarcastically.
She started speaking in few moments. She was working in a press a few months back. Later, she had left that job and was then working as a magazine editor with a small firm. The previous day, Saumya had met few of her past colleagues. Hearing that I was silent, I was not sure why this news was so important for her to share.
She described the matter further from roots – She had a group of five people, including her, in her office. The remaining four used to talk about their boss at his back. But she took no interests in such topics. With time, they replaced their boss with Saumya in their talks. They started talking about her when she was not around. But Saumya could feel the negative vibes from the behavior of those people. Gradually, they started taunting her on small things. She ignored them but she used to think about these ongoing negative events at the back of her mind. She had realized that she was becoming mentally weak and losing all her confidence. But that strong girl, gathered herself before she could feel lost and depressed about the negativity around her. She made herself aware of her goals and decided to focus on them and not on people around. She behaved as if those people didn’t exist for her. She fought with the situation and, with time, became an expert in avoiding negativity. Soon she became everyone else’s favorite in her office and was also one of the best performers. Later when she had got an opportunity to work for a magazine, she left that job.
She further said – ‘When I met those people yesterday, I noticed no difference in them. They were similar as before, in fact, more envious of our then boss than ever. I have hardly heard them talking anything positive about others. It is a surprising thing for me that they are as they were then. ‘
I smiled. I was happy for Saumya for the kind of mental strength she had shown. I asked her what made her so strong and positive. She said few statements in a reply – ‘Whenever I don’t like the behavior of the people around me, I take some time and think about their behavior. We need to understand the root cause. Many times people think in the wrong direction because they are friends with wrong people. Sometimes they think badly because they have no potential to prove themselves. I only check whether I behave in a similar way, if yes – I change myself. If no, I ignore them. This practice has made me strong and far more positive than before. I believe that self-development will take us ahead in life and not backbiting. We easily get affected by negativity around us, it is utmost important to understand this pessimism and stay away from it. ‘
I was impressed with this discussion; I got up from the table and went straight to the counter to pay the bill. She followed me. We both went straight to my car. I took the control of wheels and she sat by my side.
‘I am booking tickets. Let’s go for a movie’, she said. I looked at her and smirked.
I was actually stunned to hear her view. I have always learned many things from her and this one, too, was again mind blowing. I started deeply thinking about this. It is easy to judge people by their actions but it is difficult to patiently handle every situation. It is easy to point a finger at someone but it is difficult to live with dignity in all circumstances. We seldom think how we would react in such situations where we blame others. We infrequently think whether we have behaved in this manner any time before when we discuss others wrong behavior. Many times we easily comment on people around us before knowing the reality. We majorly focus on ‘what’ than ‘why’. We see what has happened, judge people and put forward our opinion. We rarely think why the particular situation had occurred. The time we spend on judging and commenting on others is a time we spend on degrading our character. No person in the world has gone forward by pulling somebody else’s leg. To prove that we are best, we have to focus on self-development and not on proving how weak others are. I thanked Saumya for making me learn how negativity around us can change us into a completely positive person. I decided that going forward if I come across any negative situation – I should calm myself, take a deep breath, and think why has the situation occurred? How should I react in this situation? She made me realize that instead of judging people, I should always ask myself – Do I do this?