The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature – Antonie Francois
Many of us have strong childhood bonds with our fathers, that we cherish all our lives. That was not the same with a friend of mine.
I met her after a long time, while talking to her about our old days, all of a sudden she mentioned, ‘’I am sure you must be thinking at that time, why I would speak so badly about my father.’’
I remembered Yes, I used to think that way. Why this girl does not treat her father with respect? I could never appreciate her for this behaviour then. She like my other friends often use to compliment my father for being supportive and used to compare him with their father.
I asked her, ‘’Have you happen to make peace with your father, now.’’
She said, ‘’No, he did not let me do so with his constant nagging and cribbing.’’
I felt quite bad listening this, as he is quite old now.
She further told me, she has not got married yet, as she had got the negative feelings about men because of her father.
Whereas her younger sister is happily married now.
Born in the same house, growing up in the same environment and living most of their life with similar experiences, one sister could make peace with her father and the other (my friend) she could not.
Well, this is not a happy feeling for her and she is a silent sufferer to her own self where she cannot express herself, which emotion to pick and which emotions to ignore. Behind all her happiness she has the pain she often carries with herself.
As a friend and a well-wisher, I don’t want her to hold onto this pain anymore and want her to make peace with her father. It may sound easy, but well as I have known her from many years, I know this is really not easy for her. Yet I am hopeful that soon she will be able to make peace with her father and free herself of holding onto this pain that she does not deserve.
Is this life worth to hold such pain in our heart and spend half of our life with the grief of not making peace with our own father, whatever the reason it may be?
If we are not making peace with our father we will not be able to make peace with our self and the world.
Unlike, our mother, our father’s life is also not easy and they sacrifice a lot for us. They have the responsibility which they grew up with being told by their parents and society that they have to take care of a family. They have to compromise their whole life to take care of us. They cannot just live life easy at work and sit back at home, as they know they have to pay their kids school fees by the end of the month and a lot more. There are endless sacrifices which are often unseen. As these are the only relations which are unconditionally, unconditional.
There are fathers who are inspiration to their kids, I am sure those fathers are also not the perfect fathers, but the kids out of their unconditional love they look through their shortcomings and are able to make peace with their fathers.
Like my friend, years back I had a subordinate, who used to complain about his father, endlessly. One day I invited him for lunch and to his greatest surprise I took him to an orphanage. He was not ready to step inside the orphanage, as he had never thought about an orphanage in his life. Well, I convinced him and took him to the corner where three infants of three months old were sleeping, inside a glass wall on their baby swing.
I told him, ‘’Look, how peacefully these three infants, are sleeping, they even don’t know who their father is.’’
” You are lucky you know who is your father.’’ looking at him.
He requested me to go out of the place, at the earliest.
Then the Mother Superior of the orphanage came. He started speaking to her and asked her, from where she got these three infants.
Mother told him. ‘’One from the hospital, where the parents did not accept the baby as it has a birth defect. The second baby, cops found it under a tree. Third one was left outside the orphanage by someone.’’
By then, he was completely blown away and came back silently.
Today he is the proud father of a son and he loves his father and last time he shared pictures where his father was playing with his son. Till now he speak about the breakthrough, he went through that day.
Making peace with your father before it is too late is the best choice one could make. If mother is the foundation of all relationship we carry, father is the backbone of our life. Let us strengthen the relationship with our father by bringing in peace with our father.
When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. – William Shakespeare
Few days back when I was sitting in the cafeteria of a hospital, I saw a man sitting nearby, with his father and his little son. His father who was very old was sitting opposite to him and his son was sitting beside him. What touched me and I could not take my eyes off them, was that the man was feeding his father with a spoon one bite and his son the other bite. It was such a beautiful site, I wish I could share that sight with you all. But, you can create this for yourself and your father and for your child who will treat you the same one day.
Let’s not only wish our fathers on father’s day. Let’s make father’s day, everyday of his life starting from today, if we have not done it so far.
Which of the above story you resonate with, while maintaining peace with your father. Do share with me how you are, owning peace with your father, now and ever.