Are you not able to make peace with yourself? Are you feeling separated from yourself? Feeling of separation comes when you don’t know what you are doing? Why you are doing? What you should do?
This feeling of separation with your own self, is a clear sign you are not in peace with yourself. Being at peace with one self is the basis of bringing peace in any relationship around.
One of my client, who came to me as she was going through lots of ups and down in her life both personally and professionally. While talking to her I could figure out what was her problem, before even listening in detail what was bothering her. She was disconnected with herself and her surroundings. She was going through a bad marriage, with lots of fight with her partner.
Her colleagues from years who were like her friends had started avoiding her. She was feeling they are disconnecting with her, while she was expecting them to understand her.It was not that she was aware of the situation why this is happening, neither; she wanted to be disconnected to anyone.She was suffering from absent mindedness, and was so disconnected with herself that she could not introspect the whole situation.
As she was disconnected with herself and her surroundings and was not able to express herself in a way that people around her could understand, the reasons for her changed behavior.
It was like a chain, one thing was affecting the other, the personal life affecting the professional and vice versa.We can control all these situations only when we will be at peace with our own self. Once I started working with her (client), she was able to gain the confidence to introspect and analyse her problems. That was the first step, which helped me to bring the transformation she required.
Is it a phase when we are not in peace in relationship with ourselves or it is for, forever throughout our life?
Depends, it may be due to wrong programming since childhood. It may also be because of not keeping a check on oneself at different stage of life. It may be due to some trauma at certain time of one’s life.
Bringing peace in relationship with ourself start with understanding ourself, loving ourself.
The best way of having peace in any relationship, is to be at peace with one self, first. If you are at peace with yourself you will be at peace in any relationship. If you are struggling to get your peace of mind, you will not be able to bring peace in any relationship, in your life. There is a beautiful Buddhist calligraphies by ThichNhatHanh with integrate slogans like ‘’Peace in oneself, peace in the world’’. Not only Buddhist philosophy but all the religious spirituality have the same belief system when it comes to Peace. It directly connects us to spirituality in different forms to gain our peace of mind, be it through prayers, recitation, chanting, meditation, etc.
Few people spend their whole life without discovering peace with themselves. They lead an incomplete life, always in search for answers. But they must believe, there is no question without any answer. Some are lucky to go through this self-discovery themselves, others take the help of a coach and some live their whole life without making peace with themselves. But, I truly suggest where one feel it is difficult to do it on their own, they should take some professional help, without wasting time.
When is the right time to make peace with oneself?
There is no right time, for making peace with oneself, anytime; now is the right time. They should not leave it to their faith or destiny or lose hope and live with a belief system that life is a challenge and there is nothing to bring peace in life. YES, Life is a challenge, Challenge is what opens the door for new opportunities. Without, challenge life will be like a box of white chocolate.
Can peace be found through others?
Others can bring peace, to our life. But, this peace is not complete; if we, are not in peace with ourself. Few people, try to find peace through others thinking that others will bring peace to them.It is a mistake, people often do, and they get disappointed as their expectation are not fulfilled.
If you are strongly connected to yourself, it is easier to be at peace with self. Peace comes from within.
Helping others can help to bring peace to oneself.It gives a sense of satisfaction and happiness. This is why many people involve themselves in philanthropic work, their whole life which actually add value in their life in bringing peace with themselves.
Can spirituality bring peace?
Spirituality helps in many circumstances to get connected to oneself. To get connected to yourself through spirituality takes lots of patience and practice. There are many ways which can help one to get connected to oneself and spirituality can be a part of it.
How to get into the habit of being at peace with oneself?
Parents can inculcate this habit in their children by helping them to be more aware of themselves.
Also one can self-assess themselves, from time to time about the reasons that are affecting or can affect their mental peace. They can negate any reasons which can disturb peace with oneself, only if they remember that “Peace in any relationship begins by owning the relationship with oneself’’. They should not compromise, with anything which disturbs their mental peace.
Affirmations: I am at peace with myself; no insecurity, anxiety, negativity can disturb my peace of mind. I choose peace for myself and my surroundings.