Mental Health in a relationship, has often been overlooked. While it plays a very important role in maintaining a healthy relationship and a healthy life.
Of many criteria, one of the most important is Mental Health. It is definitely overlooked though it plays an extremely crucial role in maintaining a healthy relationship and rewarding life. Today we explore two important mental traits we see in a relationship and how they have a tremendous impact in life – being an Empath and being a Bipolar.
Let me take you through a short story of my client and how I made her see what she was into!!
It was a decade back that there was an arranged marriage between Empath (The Wife) and Bipolar (The Husband). They had courted each other for two months before getting married and had known very little about each other mostly through phone conversations. Mental health wasn’t a topic of much awareness in those days.
Empath, the Wife was in her early 20’s and a young achiever who was raised with extreme love and care. She was strong, independent and believed that if she’s good then the world is good to her. Her marriage however had different perceptions to show which turned her life upside down.
On the other hand, Bipolar, the Husband, was suffering from hardships in life in terms of debts from banks, his mother’s constant monetary demands etc. He was the sole bread earner for his family of six which included his parents and siblings. He was so burdened with expectations from others that he could not manage his life and bear the extra pressure.
Neither was Empath aware of the issues faced by Bipolar before the marriage and now, nor was Bipolar ready to share anything with her about in his life. All that the Wife could see was unhappiness and mood swings in her husband since first day of the marriage. She was also deeply disturbed witnessing the fights between Bipolar and his parents and siblings as she never had seen something like this in her family. After a while, Empath and Bipolar separated from their parents and started living in a different city. Both were working in good profiles and work was good. However, they would keep fighting for every small issue and Empath painingly failed to understand what exactly was wrong. As the time moved on, Empath discovered about Bipolar’s debts and wondered how this situation occurred in spite of earning so well. As the wife felt the pain Bipolar was going through, she made up her mind to support Bipolar to clear all his debts. But, Bipolar kept manipulating her emotions. Empath was putting in all possible efforts but nothing worked. She had now began getting panic attacks and was unable to express her pain. The attacks were so severe that she would choke with pain in her chest and limbs with blurred eyesight and numb ears. In this devastating state she could only see Bipolar’s lips uttering words which she couldn’t hear but felt the trauma they brought along. Bipolar’s actions of manipulation and abuses led to self-doubt and self-blaming in Empath. Bipolar would show her extreme love some time and the very next moment treat her like an enemy. The wife was confused, in pain and feared every single day as she couldn’t take a single decision easily.
Empath had lost her confidence so much that her hands would shiver before she could speak to anyone or hold anything in her hand. She had started avoiding people and would make a story for her bruises when someone asked. Once a strong headed and independent individual was now a completely shattered and a weak person. Her attention was only focussed on how she would reduce Bipolar’s pain and heal him. She never cared about her own needs. Her life was as if was only revolving around Bipolar.
Then one day Empath’s father requested Bipolar to take her to the doctor to find a solution to her painful state. The doctor diagnosed her suffering from panic attacks due to the husband’s behaviour. This was the first time she got to know what is ‘Bipolar’.
The wife started researching about something like this and met several doctors. All the doctors confirmed the fact about the couple, same as previous doctors. The wife now wanted to help but Bipolar refused to accept or take any actions for it. Even medications could not help Empath sail through the panic attacks and abuses. Bipolar seemed to be enjoying the feat and would cause more pain intentionally. The wife failed to understand how merciless could a husband be!!
After discussions with me, I persuaded her to view the entire situation out of the box, as a spectator. This cleared her thoughts and helped her escape the cage of Self-doubt. I made her realise that we cannot be responsible for everything that is going on around us. Empath quite quickly understood that living in constant pain was not a solution to anything. She decided to choose her life over Bipolar and took a tough call of parting ways with him. This made her decipher that we cannot destroy ourselves by being an empath at our own cost. Today, Empath is still full of Empathy but in the right way, for the right people and at the right time.
Many such people can be helped come back to their desired and happy life by devised help from me. My methods are systematic and can help overcome adversities of mental health like chronic depression, panic attack, and trauma. We can work together to achieve what looks impossible. All you need to do is take the ownership for a new life and help me understand everything by owning up the scars. It will not only make you humble but also wise, helping you live a contended life.
Be an empath to yourself before it costs you. Empathy doesn’t always mean pain but goodness in the right way. Every good quality of yours makes you unique and gorgeous.
Shirin Latif worked as an Interior Designer/ Project Manager, with different Multinational 5 star hotel brands, to set up the interiors over the past 15 years. Her work has made her travel to many places, which has given her an opportunity to work with almost 99 nationalities under one roof. That made her realise immensely, all human being are same in terms of emotions and feelings irrespective of nationality and race.
While beautifying the places as part of her work & passion, over the years has made her always wonder. “Are people living in beautiful places, are also feeling beautiful with a contented and happy life?”
Her experiences made her transform herself into a transformational coach, while dealing with real life issues. Her mission is to help transforming the lives of 500000 people by next five years, to help them discover & rediscover themselves.