Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the term used to describe the complex ability to regulate our impulses, empathize with others and be resilient in the face of difficulties.

Emotional Intelligence is rated as a greater predictor of success than IQ (Intelligence Quotient)

There is a moderate yet significant relationship between Emotional Intelligence and physical health and a substantial relationship between Emotional Intelligence and psychological health.

Steps to Emotional Intelligence:

Self Awareness

This includes

Emotional Awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects

_ Know which emotions you feel and why

_ Realize the links between feelings and what you do, say, and think

_ Recognize how feelings affect performance

_ Have a guiding awareness of personal values and goals

Accurate Self-Assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits

_ Aware of personal strengths and weaknesses

_ Reflective and able to learn from experience

_ Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, and self-development

_ Able to show a sense of humor and perspective about oneself


_ Able to have a “presence” and be self-assured

_ Able to voice views that are different and/or unpopular

_ Able to be decisive and make decisions despite uncertainties

Self Management

Self-Control: Managing disruptive emotions and impulses

_ Manage impulsive feelings and distressing emotions well

_ Stay composed, positive and unflappable even in difficult moments

_ Think clearly and stay focused under pressure

Trustworthiness: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity

_ Act ethically and above reproach even when faced with conflicting emotions

_ Build trust through reliability and authenticity

_ Admit mistakes and confront actions in others

Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance

_ Meet commitments and keep promises

_ Hold oneself accountable for meeting objectives

Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change

_ Smoothly handle multiple demands, shifting priorities and rapid change

_ Flexible in how the person sees events

Social awareness

Empathy: Sensing others’ feelings and perspective and taking an active interest in

their concerns

_ Attentive to emotional cues and listen well

_ Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives

_ Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings

Service Orientation: Anticipating, recognizing and meeting needs

_ Respond to people’s needs and try to match a response to need

_ Seek ways to increase others’ satisfaction and loyalty

“ When we meet someone, we determine whether

we like them and trust them within3–5 seconds.

Emotional Intelligence

_ Offer appropriate assistance

_ Grasp the other person’s perspective

Political Awareness: Reading a group’s emotional current and power relationships

_ Accurately read key power relationships

_ Detect crucial social networks

_ Understand the forces that shape views and actions

_ Accurately read situations and organizational realities

There are four levels of communication: superficial, fact, thought and feelings. With

some people, we never get past the first two levels. To increase your EQ, you want to

reach the last level and share your feelings and hear others’ feelings.

Relationship Management

Influence: Using effective tactics of persuasion

_ Skilled at persuasion

_ Fine-tune presentations to appeal to the listener

_ Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build consensus and support

_ Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point

Communication: Sending clear and convincing messages

_ Effective in give-and-take, registering emotional cues in attuning message

_ Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly

_ Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing information fully

_ Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news

Conflict Management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements

_ Handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact

_ Spot potential conflicts, bring disagreement into the

open, and help de-escalate them

_ Encourage debate and open discussion

Orchestrate win-win solutions

Collaboration and Cooperation: Working well with others toward shared goals

_ Balance a focus on tasks with attention to relationships

_ Share plans, information, and resources freely

_ Promote a friendly, cooperative climate

_ Spot and nurture opportunities for collaboration

Summary – development of team capabilities

Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals. People with this competence:

  • Model team qualities like respect, helpfulness, and cooperation
  • Draw all members into active and enthusiastic participation
  • Build team identity, esprit de corps, and commitment



Milind Kher
Milind Kher

Milind Kher is certified in Extended DISC, Emotional Intelligence, NLP and am an ICF certified Life Coach. I work with the human mind and human relations with a focus on EI and NLP.


Aparna Posted on4:49 am - Mar 13, 2018

EI the first step to a better you.

Aditi Posted on4:49 am - Mar 14, 2018

Very nice article Milind. Sorts almost all aspects of EI.



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