Wipe out corruption and bribery
The internet server that supported our school admission process had crashed for the third time this week. And the queue for enrollment forms had never been this long, breaking previous record of one kilometer. Not everyone is tech savvy and some who were had still sent dummies to stand in the queue. To get a seat into one of the most sought-after courses was not easy, to say the least. We had started this unique curriculum that no University or college or coaching classes offered and it has become the toast of the country in last three years. Our students had directly started in senior positions and were steadily climbing in whichever field they chose.
OUR COURSE CONTENT
‘What’s this course’ I guess you might wonder. It’s called ‘Fellowship of Corruption, Kickbacks and Entrepreneurial Robbery’ or FOCKER for short. Our students had proudly coined several catchphrases such as ‘Proud to be a Focker’, ‘Go Focker, grow Focker’ and our motto – ‘once a Focker, forever an F….’ you get the gist right?
What got us started was a 2015 report by an international agency that tracks world corruption, which said India has improved its ranks and jumped up 10 spots by becoming more transparent and less corrupt. Such a shameful decline in corruption levels was just not acceptable. People’s opinion had also started to change and they were beginning to accept a non-corrupt style of operating in daily life. The nail in the coffin was when young college going kids could no longer explain what Black money is. Such deterioration can’t be taken lying down and we initiated our first class as a sign of protest, purely as a not for profit venture.
We rolled up our sleeves to teach entry-level stuff – greed is the root cause of richness, corruption should be first nature, always believe in taking what’s lawfully others for free, people who are always truthful rarely own their private jet and so on. Not surprisingly we had simpletons in our batches who didn’t know what is greasing, whom to bribe and how, and critical concepts like how to accept and ask favors because it’s a ‘favor begets favor’ world.
The Entrepreneurial Robbery part, we knew would be a rage. Everyone wants to rob someone else who has what they would like to own. The focus and amount of effort you put in robbing is inversely proportional to the value of the ransack. Yes, this principle left most students dumbstruck and that’s what they were, dumb and struck. The more effort and planning one does, the more obvious it is that you are out to get their money out gold or whatever it is you want. The corollary and sub-theories for this subject could fill volumes but suffice at this stage that not too many people passed this subject. It was an art from the heart and not some mundane skill to thrill.
Corruption and bribing and all forms of misuse of power were required for the progress of Nations. We can’t suddenly turn our back to virtues that ensured smooth and fast completion of huge projects, albeit at higher costs to the exchequer – but does this exchequer even care for costs? Right from getting that coveted business to making huge money to running for elections to anything that involves big money or power, requires skillful corruption. We are merely ensuring that the best of the breed is created via training in our school. Why we even have a few foreigners who started enrolling via NRI and foreign students quota.
Let’s make sure we are the best at something, let’s spread the corrupt and deceitful wings of all future generations to soar high and grab this world for ourselves – by hook or by crook. Remember nothing good ever ‘comes’ from goodness – people only take advantage. Little wonder then that our institute is where the lengthy queue is and the clamoring and corrupt practices being used to get in, is unbelievably good.
Finally, the server issues seem sorted so that’s the end of my soliloquy on how we started…Back to the grind for corrupting innocents!
Catch them young and make them ready for the corruption ‘Jung’.
Note – the author is a firm believer that honesty and sincere hard work is the best form of progress and does not recommend anyone to enroll in the above-mentioned school 🙂