Weave your Relationships…

Weave your Relationships…

Weave your Relationships…

Have you ever wondered why we often tend to visualize/ feel/liken relationships to a Labyrinth and NOT to a lovely knit of varied coloured threads,  all blending together, and each adding beauty of their own, to make a harmonious piece of art ?

I would say, we unknowingly carry forward the deep-rooted legacy thinking of relationships as a complicated thick web of emotions( mostly negative).
We seem to feel our life is WASTED balancing relationships to maintain harmony and achieve Peace, the goal of many a Human..

For a few moments, can we try RESETTING that context we carry with us and create a new context ??

Let’s for fun, just create a context that all relationships bring JOY and HAPPINESS.

Take a Pause, and live this moment with your new Context Creation.

Already the labyrinth seems to be simplified….easy…light….blissful..something to look forward to, isn’t it?

Can we try to look at the positive aspects of each relationship… like be glad we have someone at least to live with, to fend for, to take care of, to love, someone to fight with, argue and discuss, so on. Considering the positives of each relationship actually makes it a blessing!

One way to arrive at this is to consider one relationship at a time, muse over its positives, jot them down n then the negatives too..add values that represent how much they affect you positively or negatively.

NEXT, imagine this relationship vanishes. Observe what feelings you go through. If you are going to miss it, then it is time to work on it and keep it.
Else work on it to gracefully exit and make new choices.Ensure you DO NOT put the blame squarely on the other person and leave them with guilt and incompletion.

Before we move further on this, hope we are all on the same page and understanding that every relationship is about ” What I can GIVE to this relationship to make it grow each day?” And not the other way around..

When All this is done ,be ready for a revelation.
Be open to listen to the revelations from your heart. Because Only YOU are the best guide to yourself !

One major revelation i would like to share from my personal experience is the hard truth  that ” The relationship with ONESELF is that which by far determines ones relationship with others around them”.

Allow me to share a simple hypothetical situation to help correlate with above revelation.
Say you are  chatting up with  a friend whom you admire and are happy to be with. During a conversation your friends calls you an ” idiot “or a ” loser”. Your reaction might be to laugh it out along with him/her or call him/her playfully a “Dumbo” etc n carry on  with your conversation, having enjoyed  the free-spirited moment.

Now repeat this sequence with a friend whom you are actually not very fond of, whom you secretly think is egoistic or high-handed or have rubbed with earlier or simply not totally at comfort with deep within.
If for the same sequence of events we imagined above, if he/she calls you an idiot or a loser, you may get instantly annoyed or you may erupt out immediately or keep pondering about it later in solitude and let it
dis-empower you/make you sad, Insecure or upset/angry.
Why is it so?

I would think, One would react so, if deep within, you have felt you are inferior/less privileged  than that person or you secretly have nursed such feelings about yourself.
In short, if you have doubts about your own capabilities , if you don’t love yourself enough , if you  don’t forgive yourself for the mistakes you made..if you haven’t accepted yourself the way you are, if you don’t acknowledge yourself for what you are, it will bounce up  and confront us in such situations.
In such a situation, the other person just works as a Mirror to your very own feelings about yourself.
When in doubt about one self, we tend to get hurt even for a casual remark.

It’s then time to do some introspection and resolve it within.

So, be present to this and forgive the person as he/she is just being a mirror. Else if introspection leads to no insecurity within you, it is time to move away from such negative people.

Remember, we are totally in control of our reactions. Being in or out of a relationship is in our hands. Life is full of choices. We choose and keep choosing among many options we have and be happy about them. If something goes wrong down the way, let us be present and choose what we want to do all over again..simple, isn’t it?

We have choices and only choices always…So, choose wisely and stay happy.

Life and relationships will then turn into a blessing and a beautiful weave of art!

Hey, before i go,
Remember relationship with oneself by far defines the relationship with others and the world around us.

One more time, LOVE Yourself !! Because what one doesn’t have, one cannot give it to others!

And remember , you are blessed! Open your third(inner) eye to feel it and keep receiving it !

And don’t ever forget, in any critical moment or crisis, we always have a choice to make and stand up for Oneself !

Last but not least,  Relationship is about what you want to do for or give for to the other person, not for one’s own convenience and selfishness of what the other one can give you or how they can ease our life !

Keep choosing, enjoy your choices every moment. Choose wise and if the going gets tough, pause and choose again !!!

With these simple steps, i would think we would not equate relationships to LABYRINTH  anymore but to a nice knitted shawl that provides warmth and comfort!

Usha Rani Mamidi

09:50 (20 minutes ago)

to me
Thank you! Also pls share your opinion about it and any comments you have. Would liek to hear it out.
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Nitusmita Saikia
Nitusmita Saikia Posted on5:05 am - Mar 26, 2018

beautiful outset of the article.
yes, we have choices but since we human being live always a duel life and generally deny the inner self as it speak truth which is more or less always bitter , we go for wrong choice often. thus life become chaotic and relationship entangled in cryptic puzzle of feelings.

loved your article very much. smooth running of thoughts in words.

    Usha Posted on8:15 am - Mar 26, 2018

    Thank you Nitusmita. True, when we make choices, we should do them with integrity and not for immediate convenience. Then relationships will seem a boon!

Aparna Posted on6:06 am - Mar 26, 2018

it takes a great deal of effort to stay put in a relationship.

    Usha Posted on8:17 am - Mar 26, 2018

    Thank you Aparna.
    True that, it seems a great effort as we are hesitant to work on ourselves and often look out for others to do their part.

B S Ranganath Posted on6:46 am - Mar 26, 2018

There can’t be an assessment better than this, with respect to relationships.

We’re responsible for the good or bad feelings we endure with, in our routine.

May it be spreading hatred and living in isolation, or living with everyone in harmony (and do whatever, it only benefits the community) – all in our own hands.

More and more eye openers like this article are a must, if we’ve to witness a positive growth (mental as well as professional) inside and outside our houses.

Indu Murthy Posted on11:28 am - Mar 26, 2018

Well written Usha Rani. Everything you said is very relatable and relevant.
There are relationships that bring positive energy and others that bring negative energy. Exiting gracefully from relationships that bring negativity is easier said than done, but when done, is a plus for both sides.
Loved your statement about “Love yourself”.
Looking forward to read more from you.

    Usha Rani Mamidi
    Usha Sanjay Posted on3:34 pm - Mar 27, 2018

    Well said Indu. thank you

Nagashree Natarajan Posted on2:43 pm - Mar 26, 2018

Beautifully penned Usha. Relationships indeed could be simplified as simply you have put it across. Loving oneself is the key to all joy. Guess your article has to be read and re-read each time we feel low in a relationship.. powerful and neat..

    Usha Rani Mamidi
    Usha Sanjay Posted on3:34 pm - Mar 27, 2018

    Thank you.

Simha Posted on4:00 am - Apr 4, 2018

Excellent. Continue please.
Very meaningful words.,,?

Sulekha Chandra Posted on6:42 pm - Jul 22, 2018

Dear Usha, this article is a clear reflection that you have found your own truth.  Your examples are simple and easy to connect and your directions seamlessly seem to leave an impact.  Keep up the great work. 🙂


the other person just works as a Mirror to your very own feelings about yourself.

introspection leads to no insecurity within you

Ensure you DO NOT put the blame squarely on the other person and leave them with guilt and incompletion.

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