Family – The intricacies within.

Family – The intricacies within.

Family – The intricacies within.

The other day I was talking to a friend over the phone, who used to be a loquacious and debonair person but this time she sounds opposite to all this.  On enquiring the cause of her low spirit, she outburst in deep sorrow that her only son has to undergone a surgery for which her husband and her in-laws are alleging her.  To my surprise, I asked her that how come you are responsible for his surgery and illness?  In the boredom, she replied that my husband and my in-laws are saying that you have not taken a good care of your son and as a result of which he has to gone through this surgery.   She further revealed that in such a painful situation; she is being taunted, scolded, and abused by her husband and moreover, she is being ignored by the family and because of which she feels suffocated. In her mourning conversation, she laments that am I such a wicked person, who can think inauspicious of her son? She further added that nobody is understanding my pain, where I am crying from within and scared to see the health conditions of my child.  I was listening to her, very patiently, so that she can come out of all the suffocation’s, which she was carrying in her heart, for long.  With her agonized voice and painful tears, she further added that I have never ever hurt anybody in my life then why this happened to me?  Taking a deep sigh and wiping her tears, she managed to calm down herself when I assured her that she is not peccant for what she is being blamed for, by her in-laws and her husband.  I make her understand that whatever good or bad happens in our lives is the outcome of our own deeds and no particular soul is responsible for other soul’s Karmas, so stop accusing yourself and be optimistic.  I further make her understand that each soul is carrying his/her own Karmas which has to be borne by that particular soul and there is no escape to it.  I understand that these statements of mine were not enough to make her turbulent mind stable and calm down her agony but still I tried to console her over the phone.  After a while, after disconnecting the phone, I sent her the following blog of mine on whatsapp to help her to understand why we suffer the unfavourable circumstances in our lives-

Knowledge of Karma Philosophy engenders ‘Spirituality’.

I believe that some of you have come across any such ruthless incident, somewhere in your life, where a person is being harassed or misused or exploited by his/her own family members for their personal benefits or for their dictatorship or for any such reason.

After this phone call, I felt very restless and was thinking that what type of relationship people are living these days where instead of giving solace, they are hitting the emotions of their loved ones and that too for a situation which is beyond one’s control.  I was thinking that what for a couple takes vows at the time of their marriages when later they even don’t realize the meaning of a single pledge.  If the vows have become just a formality in our Indian marriages?  Are the couples getting married; just to play this blame game rather than to understand each other’s pain?  Isn’t this the prime responsibility of a family to come forward to support and to stand by each other, at the time of any adverse situation?  Why can’t people realize that their daughter in law wants acceptance, consolation and affection from her in-laws and most importantly the support and love of her husband in any given situation?  How come people forget and forgive the biggest of blunders of their sons and why a minute mistake of their daughter-in-law becomes an issue in the family?  Can’t people realize that their daughter-in-law is also a human being?  Isn’t this a major reason of depression in our society, nowadays?  Do you prefer to live in such a family where there is no love and respect for you and no value for your emotions and feelings and moreover, where you are totally neglected?  Why can’t in-laws treat their daughter-in-law, the same way as they regard their biological daughters?  Till how long; the so called human beings will continue to exploit and abuse the other human beings?

I am sure there is no answer to the questions I have raised above, why because, most of us are having a healthy bonding with our spouse and with our in-laws.  Another interesting fact, which I would like to highlight here, is that if we know that there is any unhealthy relationship, somewhere in our circle, we kept deaf and dumb to it, you know why, because we believe, it is their problem and we have nothing to do with it.  Let me remind you something from our revered Holy Book ‘Shreemad Bhagwad Geeta’, where we get a very significant message as how a person is equally sinful by keeping mum or supporting to the injustice done by other souls. The Great Bhishampitamah witnessed all the inequity but never dare to raise his voice against the unrighteousness done by the Kauravas.  The Great Karna, despite having a powerful body and an intellectual mind, supported the Kauravas and that too against his own biological brothers (the Pandavas) and The Great Dronacharya, who was a Great Guru of that time and was also well aware of the intentions of the Kauravas, still preferred to accompany their wickedness.  Don’t you think, in today’s life too, many of us are living a life of Bhishampitamah, Karna and Dronacharya, and are witnessing, supporting and favouring the injustice done by other souls to their own loved ones?

My question here is not to hurt anybody’s sentiments but just to remind one important aspect of human life that if you happen to see any such despotism or partiality around you, please dare to raise your voice against it and help such destitute souls to fight back for their rights and justice.  We can also help them in so many other ways like we can counsel them, we can make them emotionally strong, we can boost their morale and we can provide them financial aid.

It is said that God helps those who helps themselves but for this we need to make such poor souls mentally strong so that they can help themselves.  If we are capable to raise the thinking pattern of any such soul in our circle, we must come forward for immediate help. This way we can proclaim to have served humanity in real sense and have lived a life of a human being as well.

Hope this write up has helped you to stand up for someone in your circle who needs your help.  Please feel free to share your feedback right below the blog in comment box.  God bless you

Meenakshi Raina
Meenakshi Raina

I, Meenakshi Raina, from "The City of Temples (जम्मू) and The Paradise on Earth (कश्मीर)" (J&K), have a great passion for Writing, Singing & Travelling. I am not any Literary expert yet having enough to write because of experiencing Life from different dimensions. I am thankful to everyone in my Life for helping me to explore myself and to feel and understand the process of Divinity. Humble Gratitude to "Infinite-Spirit". My Belief - "You can't believe in God until you believe in yourself".


Hitangxi Bhuta Posted on3:13 am - Jun 20, 2018

Very true not rising voice against injustices is also giving support to injustice

Neelam Posted on3:24 am - Jun 20, 2018

It is all so true and very nicely worded. The fact today is that in our families everyone is trying to justify their presence by nullifying others achievements. This creates the problems and the blame game begins. Not good but this happens.

Hitangxi Bhuta Posted on3:25 am - Jun 20, 2018

Very frankly this generally happens when we have gap between our own marriage relationship. If we spouse respect each other or dont blame in front of others all has to respect your view
Secondly I believe if elderly of family can handle situation well nothing wrong can happen

Roopa rani Bussa Posted on4:32 am - Jun 20, 2018

Very well written Meenakshi ????????????..

Elders used to say walls have ears the makes sense, getting solutions for any problem within 4 walls. making disgraceful in public leads to our very own grave for our own dignities and personalities.. if egos kept aside and inferiority and superiority complexes are controlled then there might be some way to understand each other than exhibiting the problems in public. No such issue in the world is difficult to cackle.. its all in the thought process and ones heart..

Renu Posted on9:26 am - Jun 20, 2018

Very well written ??????
But unfortunately the fact is that ,In today’s world this generally happens next no one wants to keep his/ her ego aside and this is the only reason which creates misunderstanding n disrespect in any relationship …. But in this case as you mentioned above the lady is innocent so she has to raise her voice against this injustice n we should fully support her so that she doesn’t feel alone in this fight .
I also request every parent n family to support their child against injustice.

Nandini Rao Posted on5:45 pm - Jun 20, 2018

As much as empowering people around us is important, it is also imperative to have the concerned people realize that their efforts and their commitment to the desired goal alone will bring about the change they desire.

Tanishq Dedhia
Aparna Posted on6:16 am - Jun 26, 2018

we have to learn to outgrow our dogmas and look at each other with new eyes – we have come here to play a bigger role and that is to empower and not to pull down each other.

Sudarshan Posted on8:30 am - Jun 26, 2018

Great article.
It’s very comprehensive with good message.
Truly one needs to take care of family.

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