We go through many experience in life about women sacrifice and on opposite we get in touch with many experience of man’s stubborn nature. But is it true every time? Better I explain this with my experience of two different men who carry unique relationship with his children and left different picture of man personality in my mind.

Bittu my far-off cousin we hardly met three to four time in our childhood. Bittu born in Brahmin family, his mother got divorce in his early childhood and got married to Christian man (new father in Bittu’s life). Bittu has not change is surname and followed is first father’s religion. His mother give birth to two children girl and a boy.

We came in contact in vacation at our common cousins place. Bittu hardly speak something he prefer living away from all. Somewhere I realised he didn’t like his brother sister, his mummy tried to merge this siblings but something was panicking Bittu, he can’t express. His biological father has tortured his mum by physical violent maybe this or his new father has different caste maybe this or he miss his first family… many questions no answer. Year passes we never met after our school but from my close relatives I came to know Bittu got job in corporate company with high designation. His father has helped him to get his rights from is biological father and not only this he gave him a part of share out of his own property and got new house for Bittu, in which Bittu with his wife and children stays. Bittu’s new father had obeyed all his duty inspite of being ignored by his step son. Only a man with gold heart can do this.

Let’s come to second story which close to my heart. I got married at a matured age 30. I and my husband were very clear about our expectations towards our spouse. He share that his pappa is on bed last 20 years and entire family has to obey his rules due to his nature including mummy. Before engagement I and my parents went home to meet my would be father- in- law. Entire evening my eyes were searching  that stubborn men about whom my husband told me. Mother-in-law says that my brother-in-law and his family left the house because of Papa’s nature. But I met with a man with lots of love and respect in his heart for others. Body resting with illness for last 20 years but mind full of knowledge, bold and strong. He carry some different positive aura with great Shine on his face. After marriage we share many knowledgeable talks everyday. I was surprised how this person can be so positive from inside when he know nobody respects his view. Papa gave me new name Janki, that was my new birth. Many a time papa asked me, “are you my last birth mother or a daughter because only this relationship carry such a strong bonding”. He told me that, “I gave you name Janki because when I die I should keep on calling for you, and if I do so goddess  Janki will come to pick me”,  and he was true. His last words were Janki. Not only this, it is our tradition we give Puri to crow on 13th day after Puja of punyatithi. Crow didn’t touch Puri served by my husband. MY Mother-in-law send me for the same and crow had it. It is believed that our parents accept this from their own children.

Is father relationship get complete by birth? These two men has loved his children with whom he doesn’t have blood relation. My Father-in-law died after 2 years of my marriage. He gave me that respect in the family which many women never get by spending enter life of sacrifice. He is my role model and share his stories with my son. Talking to him I realised that how much he love his three children, among them my husband was his favourite. His telepathy was so strong that everytime he tells me to open the door before my husband bell. Actually he was never a strict father but he want his children to follow discipline, he wants them to follow right path and never face any problem in future. May be being a male he was not able to express his feelings. His love was unlimited for his children.

Many time I notice we ignore feeling of father in our family. May be father has loud voice or unable to express himself which makes a gap where we forget to notice his sacrifices. Father is a soul of family, he give peace sleep, happy holidays, lots of outing, cashless shopping, comfort zone for all.

 

Father is shelter of family, father is maker of family, father is protector of family, father is creator of family because he is Head Of Family “

 

If you didn’t hold my hand
Where I would be?
If you ignore my desire
Where I would be?
If you didn’t notice my hurt mark
Where I would be?
If you didn’t repair my path
Where I would be?
If you didn’t guide my life
Where I would be?
If you never been in my life
Where I would be?

 

Hitangxi Bhuta