ME first, please!!!

ME first, please!!!

There are many things money can buy. There are certain things no amount of money can buy. And relationship is one such thing. No mall, no niche market, no e-commerce platform can offer one good relationship. Then how does one get or have or be in a good relationship? Well, the secret lies within the person wanting one.
A relationship is akin to a fabric. Like any fabric, a relationship too is soft, and sensitive to rough handedness. It takes a great care to weave into a beautiful bond. The intricacies are more in a relationship than in a fabric, rendering it a much fragrant blossom. The quality of yarn does matter too, for any deficiency in the quality will result in tearing. A yarn of relationship is the words used to communicate with a person, and our attitude towards the person including the body language. A harsh abuse or a bitter comment would definitely ruin the rapport. Name calling and blaming would only further aggravate the bond producing knots that clog the flow of love. And so, the magic of the outcome lies in the hands that weave the fabric.
It is natural for someone to expect the other person to make a move too or to take the first step whether it is a small misunderstanding or an altercation. Sometimes, we make proof or declaration of the other person’s initiation or response to be an interest or disinterest in us. Such an expectation blinds us to the fact that the other person could have the same expectation from us, that is only natural. And, in this “not-me, but-you” game, neither of the two would be happy. The expectation chain only lengthens with no end.
It is here that one should remember that, unless the one, wanting the relationship to work, makes an effort or takes initiative, irrespective of the other person’s move, there would be no progress or improvement. Why shouldn’t we make that call? Or send that text message we eagerly yearn for from the other person? What would we lose in doing so? Why not think of what we gain from that? Yes, a relationship is not a trade to measure losses and gains, but an expectation from the other person would only disappoint us. Instead, it is wise and especially rewarding to make the move ourselves because, it is we who want things to spark, don’t we? Who are we doing this at all, for? Not others, but for ourselves. Then why is the expectation sign pointing towards the other person? Why not go ahead, and perhaps fulfill the expectation of the other person, if there is one. And if there is none from the other person, then voila! What more can we ask for?
One might counter this saying that the other person might take things for granted; take us for granted. Well, that is not in our control, definitely. We have control only over what we say or do. If that sounds like a rude awakening, why not introspect to check whether we take someone for granted? It does paint a familiar picture of someone making efforts but us not acknowledging it. This is the point for us to start making efforts from our end, whether it is our relationship with a wide age gap parent, an estranged partner or a sulking child or a disappointed friend. When we are hungry, it is for us to find and consume food. Similarly, the hunger or want of a relationship requires us to do something about it. Let the “Ladies first” or the “After you” etiquette be left to the ballroom, and not invite them to our living room or the bed room. It shall now be, “Me first, please!”

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