Never be so quick to judge…..

Never be so quick to judge…..

Never be so quick to judge…..
 I was just working on my laptop around 11 pm when I heard a man scolding on his wife in front of my apartment and within no time he dragged her out of the home and started beating her up ruthlessly.  I wanted to come out to protect her but the man was drunk so I restricted myself but it was shocking when not even a single man in the neighborhood dared to come out to rescue that poor lady.  After seeing this ferocious incident, I couldn’t sleep all throughout the night and was cluttered with following questions in my mind-
  • Why don’t people realize the damage they are inflicting upon someone’s existence by demeaning their character?
  • What if someone treats them the way they are treating their prospective victims?
  • Why don’t parents pay attention right from the beginning if they notice an irrational behavior in their child?
  • How can people be so selfish to remain deaf and dumb to the violence they witness?
  • Why don’t school authorities come forward to counsel the pupil with irrational behaviour?
  • What if couples be given right parenting education before becoming parents?
  • What would be the future of children who are witnessing violence in their respective families?
  • Why government is not making it mandatory to counsel parents seeking divorce because of domestic violence?
  • Does the irrational behavior of people have any connection with their past births?
  • Can spirituality be of any help in healing the psychological disorders?

Well, I think the above questions are enough to ponder upon the intricacies of this grueling issue. Also, these questions might have given you an idea that peeps who behave irrationally are unaware of the fact that they are suffering from a mental sickness, which can be cured with the support of their families and loved ones. Yes, you got it right; it is a psychological disorder due to which people behave unreasonably and it is equally true that normal people never ever step on to other’s feelings and self esteem.

If we carefully analyze any such incident, where a person is abusing and intimidating another person, we would realize that the culprit is undergoing much more pain as compared to the victim. Now to interpret this, I would inscribe a real incident of Gauri.

Gauri from her very childhood has noticed the awkward behavior of her elder brother, Rocky, who was just two year older to her. Rocky’s behavior includes lying for no reason, fights on petty issues, lack of concentration in his studies, bunking from class, wandering, etc. Gauri was witnessing all this but because of her ignorance and childishness, she was unable to understand why her brother is behaving this way. As the years passed, she started contemplating upon the irrational behavior of her brother and also she was annoyed to her parents, who overlooked Rocky’s behavior right from the beginning. The story didn’t end here; Rocky gets indulged in bad company and started smoking and taking other intoxications. But still parents didn’t paid attention.  Rocky has now started misbehaving with his own parents and other family members as a result of which parents lost their control on him.  Because of his atrocious behaviour, Rocky couldn’t continue his education.  Years passed and Rocky got married and the same Rocky has got a new victim in the form of his wife whom he started treating as his property instead of treating as a human being and the story continued…

Now coming back to our topic, who do you think is responsible for Rocky’s unjustifiable behavior? Of course, your answer would be Rocky’s parents and which seems true. But here the question is-

  • Were they (parents) enough educated and aware of their ignorance they did in Rocky’s upbringing?
  • Did they know about ideal parenting?
  • What was it that could have been done at the right time to bring Rocky on right path?
  • Last but not least, if parents were responsible for Rocky’s irrational behaviour then why didn’t Gauri became like him?

From the above facts, it is clearly understood that before standing someone responsible for something, we must pay attention to check their pre-requisite eligibilities for the given role.  Yes friends, parenting is a role to be played judiciously and sensibly by both the parents.  Giving birth to a child is not what makes you a parent rather bestowing the right upbringing in your child is what makes the difference.  To the best of my knowledge, I am enlisting some of the qualities of an ideal parenting

  1. Parents must spare their time to play and to have healthy discussions with their kids right from their childhood to develop a friendly bonding with them.
  2. They must patiently listen to their children and try to understand the depth of their thoughts.
  3. They should never compare their child with other children. Every child has got some unique features which must be accepted and appreciated by parents.
  4. They must appreciate their children for all the good things they do.
  5. They must have a keen watch on the behavior and performance of their children.
  6. They must have a constant check on their children’s activities and routine.
  7. They must be aware of their children’s friend circle and also stay in touch with their families.
  8. They must pay attention, if they notice any illogical behavior of their children and immediately try to get it resolved.
  9. They must immediately seek help or guidance, if they are incapable in resolving their child’s unjustifiable behavior.
  10. Parents must treat each other respectfully and decently especially when their children are around.
  11. They must not condemn or say ill against anyone nor against each other in front of their children.
  12. They must adopt all the good qualities which they want to see in their children because children’s are imbibing what parents are doing.
  13. In the spare time parents must engage their children in doing some creative work instead of recommending them electronic gadgets.
  14. Parents must not force their will on their children instead they must accept and support their children’s decisions so far if it is not objectionable.
  15. Parents must have the courage to accept any mistake, happened in ignorance or in negligence through their children and then focus on solutions rather than regretting, blaming or accusing them.
  16. There must be specific hours fixed to study when a child is at home.  Asking a child to study throughout day can harm his/her psychological well-being.
  17. Last but not least, parents must practice meditation and imbibe spirituality so that they can teach the essence and significance to their children.

Apart from parenting, there are following aspects too which are responsible in shaping the overall personality of a person-

Past Birth:- Although, after implementing the above parenting tips, if a child still behaves irrationally, then you must know one significant truth that the child (soul) has carried some strong impressions from his/her past birth.  Yes, logic ends where spirituality begins. We all knew that we all are souls so there is no question to get astonished upon this predominant factor.  Some habits get deeply rooted on our subconscious mind and they become a permanent groove on our consciousness, which gets travelled with us when we leave our physical body. Hence, if you notice any specific illogical or irrational habit or behaviour of your child instead of feeling annoyed, help him/her with your positive vibes and prayers. Also, seek the help of Reiki or Pranic Healers to heal them permanently.

Schools:- Apart from parenting, schools should also come forward to help parents in diagnosing the children’s psychological and physical health by organizing free medical camps periodically. Schools should also hire child counselors to heal such children.  Last but not least, Spirituality should be made mandatory in schools along with other existing subjects to build a stress free and violence free nation.

Social Circle:- Extending families, guardians, family atmosphere, teachers, friend circle and society also plays a very vital role in shaping a better or a bitter person.  Therefore, be very careful in choosing your circle.

Social Welfare Department:- Anganwadi workers can also play a very vital role in the development of a better society. These workers should visit door to door to impart parenting education to prospective parents and later should have a regular check on them.

Law Department (Family Courts):- Unfortunately, some marriages won’t work and because of which many children suffer a lot right from their childhood.  But government can come forward and take some suitable initiatives for the betterment of such children.  Government must make it mandatory to appoint more and more counselors in matrimonial / family courts and assign them the job to fix the families with their right counseling, especially, where children are involved. Their counseling should be based on the grounds of the basic needs of the children, emotional development and moral ethics imbibed into the consciousness of the children. The Counselors should be directed to continue their counseling sessions till they get succeeded in making parents feel and play their duties towards their children. The Counseling should be done continuously at-least for one month and it should be made mandatory for both the parents to attend every session else strict judiciary actions should be taken against the couples. For these saintly tasks, Counselors should be awarded with the Certificate of Appreciations to keep them spirited and inspired. This practice might be followed in metropolitan cities but not in cosmopolitan cities and because of which courts are witnessing enormous divorce cases every year.

Well, I think I have covered almost all the arenas, which were directly or indirectly correlating with the subject matter. But still I want to enlist few conclusions to broaden the overall review of this critical topic-

  1. Never be judgmental without knowing the truth and looking the story from all the perspectives.
  2. If people are devaluing or demeaning you, never get affected because they are reflecting who they are and not who you are.
  3. If you are being victimized by someone’s irrational behavior either resolve it at your own or seek someone’s guidance or in extreme cases, better to leave but never get settle down.
  4. Past birth habits (sanskars) are predominant factors in shaping someone’s personality but they can be changed any time through the strong will power and with the support of families, healers and with the help of spirituality.
  5. A person is his/her best judge so everybody knows which bad qualities they possess and with strong determination one can conquer over them.
  6. Be compassionate to irrational folks. They themselves are in pain.
  7. Lastly, my humble request to the government of India and the judges across India, to kindly incorporate my proposal in matrimonial / family courts to safeguard the future of countless innocent kids and broken families in uniting them and bring harmony and peace in their lives.

With a ray of hope, I can only request you to circulate this blog for a noble cause to safeguard many precious lives and don’t forget to leave your feedback below in comment box. God bless you…

Meenakshi Raina
Meenakshi Raina

I, Meenakshi Raina, from "The City of Temples (जम्मू) and The Paradise on Earth (कश्मीर)" (J&K), have a great passion for Writing, Singing & Travelling. I am not any Literary expert yet having enough to write because of experiencing Life from different dimensions. I am thankful to everyone in my Life for helping me to explore myself and to feel and understand the process of Divinity. Humble Gratitude to "Infinite-Spirit". My Belief - "You can't believe in God until you believe in yourself".

6 Comments

Sudarshan Pukale Posted on5:45 am - Dec 24, 2018

A very critical and relevant social issue is raised.

The example of Rocky and Gauri makes many things clear.

The practical suggestions to overcome the problem is Appreciable.

Overall, it’s a great article.

Keep it up.

Best Regards.

HIREN PATEL Posted on4:06 pm - Dec 24, 2018

ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

We can never come to conclusion with half information. And yes it is true that each and every one of us is equally Responsibile for what is happening around us.

Violence करने वाले से ज्यादा उसको सहनेवाला का गलती ज्यादा है. So Never Tolerate Anything Which Is Wrong and against Humanity.

Thank You So Much Meenakshi Di For Your Constant Shairng On Such An Important Aspects Of Life.

Stay Blessed!
Keep Smiling Keep Shining 🙏

Nandini Rao Posted on2:31 pm - Dec 25, 2018

A beautiful write up addressing a very crucial aspect in today’s life. A must read!

Dr. Gazal Goyal Bansal Posted on4:12 am - Dec 26, 2018

An Eye-Opening Article by Meenakshi Raina on the sensitive issue of Right Parenting. The Analogies she has used and the narrative she has displayed is truly appreciable and remarkable. She has beautifully highlighted the significance of ideal equation between a parent and a child and hoe that bond should be nurtured.
Kudos to you Meenakshi for bringing out such an important topic through this wonderful write-ups of yours.

God Bless!!!

Sriharsh Vaidya Posted on5:58 pm - Jan 1, 2019

Brilliant article Meenakshi..
It’s more than a Article. It’s an Epic which has everything..

Must be one of the versatile article I have seen in long time..

Great going..👏👏👏

Sulekha Posted on3:55 pm - Jan 2, 2019

Dear Meenakshi,

I love your power of questioning yourself and the current system. You use it so analytically. The simplicity of your questions itself builds reflective attitude in readers mind. I congratulate Spark for having writers of your stature who learn from their experience and share the wisdom.

Contribute to shine as everything you write is divine.

Regards,
Sulekha

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