Relationship with the Self – A Beautiful Relationship

Relationship with the Self – A Beautiful Relationship

Every Relationship involves 2. Without 2 people the relationship cannot be complete. It’s an exchange of energy which either makes the relationship stronger or weaker.

Many people spend all their lives doing things for others without thinking about the self and at the fag end of life, they end up repenting or complaining about doing a lot for others but still feeling miserable.

We are all charged batteries when we start the day but by the time we end the day, we are tired and grasping for others to love and understand us. Is this how the relationships work? We forget that we all have limited energies and the one we are hoping from is also a discharged battery.

Now What?

  • I feel depressed
  • I feel lonely
  • I feel unwanted
  • I feel that no one loves me

Miserable thoughts, isn’t it?

The reason is simple. The 2 within us i.e. the Head and the Heart is not in sync with each other. This fight which is on within us is the reason of all sorrow. When both are used together with balance then life can be worth living. The relationship with the self and then others will be good.

Let’s look at how we can strike a balance between the relationship of the head and the heart.

Self can be divided into 4 aspects.

Self Respect

Self Respect is an important aspect of the relationship with the self but there is a thin line between self respect and ego.

  • Self Respect is about valuing the relationship and being available when required but not going overboard.


  • Ego is about doing things with certain expectations in the back of the mind. If someone does not respond as expected then we tend to bring up all that we did in arguments.

Self respect is associated with the head as the heart wants to be available always despite facing insults because the heart fears for loss of the relationship.


Enthusiasm is also an important aspect of the relationship with the self. Enthusiasm is activated when you start to do something you want to do. You may want to learn dance or maybe start a company which starts with a lot of enthusiasm. However reaching the end result requires a lot of effort and time. Sometimes even motivation and appreciation is required to reach the end.

Roadblocks in Enthusiasm

  • Lack of focus
  • Lack of self motivation
  • No idea of the direction of the journey
  • No plan B – like a source to generate new ideas

Enthusiasm is associated with the head again as the heart is weak and ready to give up at any moment but the head keeps interrupting and keeps pushing us to try harder. The ones who continue the journey finally achieve success.


Love which is a four letter word is so powerful because we have all heard that “GOD is Love”. GOD is powerful is he is driving the entire universe. Can love be unconditional in today’s world? With relationships ending in divorces all the time, it feels impossible.

Some aspects of Love to Ponder on

  • Love is a feeling which is within every human being
  • Love is not about lust but care
  • Love all hate none
  • Love has to reshape from family and friends to UNIVERSAL

The problem with love is expectation. The problem with expectation is that it’s stuck with limited people. My Father, Mother, Wife, Husband, Son, Daughter should at least love me back as I do a lot for them. Ideally it should come back but we are all under the influence of negativity or being influenced so no matter how hard we try, relationships don’t work well.

The best things do feel better

  • Have a hobby in place
  • Try Volunteering
  • Smile and give respect to all
  • Help someone because GOD helps us all

Doing just these few things will bring back the love back to you in unexpected ways. Love does not means hugs and kisses. It is about giving unconditionally to all and getting is back from anywhere.


We are all humans with feelings. Some feelings are associated with body and some feelings associated with the soul. In both the cases, we are responsible for acknowledging the feelings. Feelings are good and bad depending on the experiences we have with people, surroundings, situations and inputs.

 How to generate good Feelings?

  • Start your day by listening, reading or watching something positive
  • Exercise daily even if for 10 minutes
  • Eat well and in control
  • Spend some quality time with the family
  • Develop the habit of reading (Its transports you in a different world)

There are many more things that you can do for good feelings and the good feelings makes your heart pump well and keeps it beating. Good Feelings always lead to good relationship with the self.

Remember: If you don’t respect yourself then don’t expect it from others. Be Humble but don’t be a Beggar.

Do you agree or have a different view? Do share your comments.

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