This is the second article in the 2 part series of Our Conversation With Self. Please click here to read the first article Our Conversation with Self: How We Talk Within
5 ways to develop positive Self-Talk
1.Be aware – We often fail to notice what we are thinking because we are so engrossed with the emotions the thoughts evoke.
What are the thoughts ruling your mind right now? How much are they affecting you?
The first step in building positive self-talks in gaining knowledge of our inner voice and to become aware of them. You can do it by asking yourself the following questions:
- Do my thoughts make me sad?
- Are they lowering my self-esteem?
- Am I doing the right thing?
- Is this what I want?
Take out some time each day to introspect what is going on in your mind. Trust me, the answers to these questions will help you gain deep insight into the quality of your self-talk.
2. Replace your critical self-talks with positive ones – Once you have conquered the first step, and you know that there are critical self-talks running in your mind, step ahead to consciously replace them with positive ones. Rather than brooding on, endow it with a positive assertion. Positive talks are self-proclamations that are said with certainty and an apparent truth. It is not enough just to have positive self-talk, but equally important to be able to internalize them. You can maintain a thought journal for this, where you note down your thoughts, and practice replacing them consciously.
3. Use “possible thinking” – Possible thinking is very powerful in developing positive self-talk. When you are continually hearing negative musings around you, it may be hard for you to trust all the positive self-talk that you are endeavoring to let yourself know. Practice possible thinking at such times.
Tamar E. Chansky, a clinician, writer, and blogger, stated that “We feel a considerable pressure to turn everything around and make it positive, yet studies have discovered that when we are dejected and still keep compelling ourselves to state positive things, we wind up feeling more regrettable.
Instead, be more reasonable with yourself, have unbiased contemplations about the circumstance and calculate all the possible outcomes. If you know you have been not so positive personally or professionally recently, recognize it, be straightforward with yourself about the progressions you have to make and work on it. Transforming that idea into a position of understanding will make you mindful of the improvements you have to make. This will further improve your self-talk because you know you are doing your best.
4. Challenge and change your self-talk – Better done than said, challenging and changing the way your mind talks, is worth working on. If you are successful in replacing your thoughts with positive ones, your next step should be asking yourself
● Is my thinking logical?
● What would I say if a friend were in a similar situation?
● Is there a more positive way of looking at this?
● Am I keeping everything in perspective?
● Can I do anything to change what I’m feeling bad about?
A good way to develop positive self-talk is by avoiding black and white thinking (also called all-or-none phenomena). Avoid being too fixed and jumping to conclusions easily.
5. Face your fears and overcome it – Fear holds you back from attaining success. You may be afraid of leaving your comfort zone and taking chances in life. Ask yourself what you are afraid of. When you confront your fears, you may realize that often the worst-case scenarios are not as bad as you think. Break down your fears and see if you can look at things more positively. When you start seeing that the benefits of change are worth taking risks, you will start imbibing positive self-talk in your life. Make a conscious effort to use self-talk to build your self-esteem.
Self-talk is a huge part of our self-esteem and confidence. By working on inducing more positive self-talk, you’re more likely to feel in control of stuff that’s going on in your life and to achieve your goals. Don’t let the brain trick you. Remember, you have control over your thinking and if you want, you can start to feel more powerful about yourself sooner than you would imagine. Positive thinking equals confidence, and you absolutely deserve that.